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Where I lived, it got hot in the summertime.

Not warm. Hot. The kind of heat that makes the air feel thick and the sidewalk shimmer.

And in the middle of all that heat, somebody would come knocking on the door in a three-piece suit.

Jacket. Vest. Tie pulled all the way up. Sweating, smiling, and holding a briefcase full of encyclopedias, or insurance policies, or business machines. They’d knock, wait, and introduce themselves like they had all the time in the world.

Think about that for a second.

Before Instagram. Before Facebook. Before Zillow.

Before automated funnels, lead generation platforms, and all the fancy little technology we have today, there was nothing between that salesman and a sale except one thing.

A relationship.

The old IBM salespeople became known as one of the most distinguished and disciplined sales organizations in business. Other companies wanted them to train their people. And it wasn’t because they had better tools than everybody else. They understood something that I think a lot of real estate agents have either forgotten, or maybe were never taught in the first place.

The money is in the relationships.

Never let anybody tell you different.

The Right, The Right, The Right

I want to have a real conversation with you, because I think a lot of agents are misunderstanding what’s happening right in front of us.

Everybody’s talking about how hard real estate is right now.

The market is slow. Buyers aren’t buying. Sellers aren’t selling. Leads aren’t converting. The algorithm isn’t working. You name it, there’s a reason.

Sound familiar?

And I keep hearing agents say the same thing: “I just need to figure out what works in this market.”

I want to challenge that thinking.

What if what’s happening in real estate right now isn’t simply about a difficult market? What if it’s an invitation? An invitation to get back to what has always worked in this industry. The foundational principles this business was built on: the relationship building, the conversations, the follow-up, and the database.

Because somewhere along the way, we started confusing the tools of business with the heart of business.

We started believing that if we just had the right CRM, the right social media strategy, the right lead generation platform, the right marketing funnel, the right, the right, the right, the right… that somehow we could skip the foundational work of becoming really good salespeople.

We can’t.

One of the things I love most about this industry is that, at its core, it’s a sales job. But we’ve drifted so far into tech that a lot of agents are waking up to an uncomfortable picture of their own business.

→ They have the technology dialed in, but not the relationships.

→ They have the followers, but no pipeline.

→ They have the leads, but no process.

→ They have a real estate license, but they haven’t built the business behind it.

Read that last one again, because it’s the one that keeps me up at night for so many agents.

A license is permission to do business. It is not a business. It doesn’t come with a plan, a budget, a lead generation system, or a way to keep track of the people you meet. Your brokerage hands you the license, a desk, and maybe a training calendar. The business part? That’s on you.

And most agents never build it. They go straight from passing the exam to buying tools, because tools feel like progress. A CRM login feels like a business. A logo feels like a brand. A paid lead feels like a pipeline. Then six months later, they’re sitting at their kitchen table with a pile of subscriptions and no idea why the money isn’t coming.

If you’re new, or you’re still early enough to start over the right way, this is the work I want you doing before you buy one more tool. The How to Start & Structure Your Real Estate Business Master Course walks you through building the business behind your license: the CEO mindset, your economic and activity plans, the financial metrics to track, your effort vs. efficiency zones, your sales systems and funnels, and how to categorize your sphere of influence so every relationship has a place to live. It’s the foundation the three-piece suit guys had in their bones, built for how real estate works now.

GIVE YOUR LICENSE A BUSINESS TO STAND ON → HERE!

What The IBM Salesman Kept In His Briefcase

So what did those old-school salespeople actually understand?

They knew their customers.

Not just names. They knew their customers’ businesses. They knew their families. They knew what their customers needed, and they usually knew it before the customer said a word. Follow-up wasn’t a task on a list for them. It was a natural part of how they did business, because the relationship was already there.

And I think that’s exactly why follow-up feels so hard for agents right now.

It’s not that you’re lazy. It’s not that you’re bad at it. It’s that you’re trying to follow up on a relationship that doesn’t exist. Calling somebody you barely know feels awkward because it is awkward. Calling somebody you actually know feels like catching up.

Here’s what the IBM salesman did differently.

He didn’t show up only when it was time to make a sale.

He developed an account. A book of business.

He built trust. He stayed connected, season after season, whether a sale was on the table or not.

And because he understood all of that, something powerful happened. When his customers saw him, they identified him with opportunity. He wasn’t the guy who pops up when he needs something. He was the guy who shows up, period.

So let me ask you.

How many people in your life identify you with opportunity?

When your cousin’s coworker mentions she’s thinking about selling, does your cousin say your name? When your neighbor’s daughter gets her first job offer out of state, does anybody think, “Oh, you need to call my realtor”? Or do they think of whatever agent’s face is on the bus bench?

That’s not luck. That’s a book of business.

And you can start building yours this week.

→ Pick 20 people you already know. Past clients if you have them, friends and family if you don’t.

→ For each one, write down what you actually know: their kids’ names, where they work, when they bought their home, what’s going on in their life right now.

→ Then write down what you don’t know. That blank space is your next conversation.

→ Next to each name, write the life event you’re watching for. A wedding. A new baby. A job relocation. Kids heading off to college and an empty nest. Sometimes a divorce.

That last step matters more than you think. Every one of those life events is a transaction. Many of them are two. A client isn’t one closing. A client is a lifetime relationship, and every chapter of their life comes with a door that opens or closes.

The IBM salesman knew which chapter his customers were in.

Do you?

More Technology, Fewer Conversations

Now, let’s be real.

The sales environment was different back then. Technology has changed everything about how we work, and it’s never going back.

And I love technology. Please hear me. Your girl is a technology girl.

But we can advance forward without losing the foundational principles. The way we execute can change. The principles should always stay the same.

And here’s the principle that hasn’t changed since the three-piece suit days: people do business with people they know, people they trust, and people they believe can solve their problems.

Now look at what’s sitting in your pocket.

You have more technology on your phone than those salespeople had in their entire repertoire. We have CRMs that remind us exactly when to call somebody. Software that sends emails for us. Systems that can organize thousands of contacts. Social media that gives us a window into people’s lives every single day. Automated emails that go out while we sleep.

And yet we’re having fewer meaningful conversations than they did.

Think about that.

We have a CRM that literally reminds us to call somebody… and we don’t.

Why?

Because we’ve gotten away from the fundamentals. We’ve made the business of technology more advanced than the business of relationships.

I hate doing videos and posts like this, because they can sound preachy. But I’m going to say it anyway, because somebody needs to hear it.

Some agents can’t tell me the last time they intentionally followed up with 20 clients.

Not posted at them. Not emailed a market update at them. Intentionally followed up. Called them. Asked how they’re doing. Listened.

The technology is blinding you to the fact that you’re not building relationships. Every automated touch makes you feel like you’re doing something, so you stop noticing that nobody’s actually talking.

I remember feeling this when I was lead generating. I’d be working through lists, making contact after contact, and something in me kept saying, “I feel like I should be developing relationships with these people.” That feeling was right.

Technology was supposed to help you manage relationships more effectively. That’s it. It gives you the reminder, so you know when to call. It was never supposed to replace the call.

So here’s your test for this week. The 20-call test.

→ Open your CRM, your phone, or your spreadsheet. Pick 20 people you haven’t spoken to, voice to voice, in at least 90 days.

→ Call four of them a day, Monday through Friday. That’s it. Four.

→ Don’t pitch. Ask about them. Ask about their family, their work, their home.

→ After every call, write down one specific thing they told you, and set a date to reach back out.

By Friday, you’ll have had 20 real conversations. That’s probably more than most agents in your office had all month. And I promise you, somewhere in those 20 calls, somebody’s going to mention a sister, a coworker, or a lease that’s about to end.

My database is built entirely on conversations like those, and it’s been professionally appraised at over $10 million. One single relationship in it has generated $192,000 in GCI over 19 months. Not from an ad. Not from a funnel. From staying in touch with a person.

And if you’re reading this thinking, “Coach Cheese, I don’t even have 20 people to call,” or “I don’t know what to say when they pick up,” this is exactly what I’m walking through live. I’m hosting the free 0 to 10 Million Dollar Real Estate Database From 0 Contacts in Just 6-12 Months Masterclass on Wednesday, October 28, at 1 PM ET / 12 PM CT / 11 AM MT / 10 AM PT, on Zoom. I’ll show you how to build a database from zero contacts, how to nurture it without it eating your whole week, and how it’s built to add about 12 more deals to your pipeline over the next six to 12 months. That’s what this whole thing comes down to: income you can actually predict.

It’s free. It’s live. And it’s the closest thing you’ll get to sitting down with the three-piece suit guys and learning how they did it.

PICK UP THE PHONE WITH A PLAN. JOIN ME FREE ON OCTOBER 28 → REGISTRATION LINK!

Your Subscriptions Could Qualify You As A Software Company

Which brings me to my next point.

We’re distracted by the glitz and glamour.

I think one of the biggest problems in real estate right now is that we’ve made business look more complicated than it actually is. Business, for me, is simple. But everywhere you turn, somebody’s selling another solution. Another lead generation strategy. Another software platform. Another AI tool. Another shiny object. Another, another, another.

And let me balance this, because I’m not against any of it.

I use technology. I use automation. I teach systems. I sell systems. Some of those tools really can help you grow. Some of those offers are just ways to get you into somebody’s funnel, and that’s fine too, as long as you know that’s what’s happening.

The difference is intention.

Here’s the order I want you to think in when you’re deciding whether something belongs in your business: systems first, tools second, people third.

Because a tool without a process is just another monthly subscription.

If you have a tool and you don’t have a way to use it, why do you have it? What’s it for? It’s just sitting there, waiting to drain your money.

And some of y’all have so many subscriptions, you could qualify as your own software company.

But where’s the business?

You’re paying for Calendly every month. Are you using it? Are you sending out links? Are you having conversations that end in a booked appointment? Or is it just sitting there looking professional?

We pay for tools because tools give us the feeling that we’ve accomplished something. You sign up, you set up your profile, you pick your brand colors, and you feel productive. But you haven’t done the work yet.

So let me ask you the questions I ask myself.

Where are the conversations?

Where are the contracts?

Where are the closings?

Where’s the GCI?

Where’s the profit?

These are real conversations we have to have with ourselves.

Here’s a simple way to run every tool through that filter. I call it the process test.

→ List every tool you’re paying for right now.

→ Next to each one, write the exact process it supports, in one sentence. Not “marketing.” Something like, “Every new contact gets a welcome text within 24 hours.”

→ Then write the last time that tool directly led to a real conversation with a real person.

If you can’t write the process, the tool isn’t the problem. The missing process is. Either build the process this week, or cancel the tool until you have one.

If you can write the process but can’t remember the last conversation it created, the tool isn’t working. Fix how you’re using it, or let it go.

Systems first. Tools second. People third. In that order, technology becomes a multiplier. Out of order, it’s just an expensive distraction.

The Perfect Reel And The Five Calls You Didn’t Make

We’ve got agents spending hours creating the perfect reel.

Myself included. Been there, done that. So please understand, I’m not preaching at you. I’m preaching at both of us.

You’re perfecting the transitions, picking the trending audio, filming the same intro six times… but you haven’t called five people who already know, like, and trust you.

You’re paying hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars a month for leads, while you’re sitting on relationships right there in your phone that you haven’t nurtured in weeks. Months. Years.

And then you wonder why your income is unpredictable.

Here’s why.

Your relationships are unpredictable.

The disconnect in your relationships shows up as a disconnect in your income. If we’re being real, you cannot build a predictable business on inconsistent behavior. Sales is a relationship-based business. Inconsistent relationships create inconsistent income. I don’t care how good your marketing is.

If you don’t have a repeatable process for nurturing relationships and turning those relationships into business, you’re going to keep living the same cycle.

You know the one.

You close a few deals.

You get busy.

You forget about everything else you need to be doing, and you stop prospecting altogether.

Then your pipeline goes dry. You’re at zero.

And then guess what? You ramp back up. You hustle. You panic. You call everybody you haven’t called in six months, and it feels awkward because, well, it’s been six months.

How many times are you going to do that?

I did it twice. Twice. And after the second time, I said, “I can’t do this anymore.” I needed predictable income. I couldn’t keep panicking every time my pipeline ran dry and then repeating the exact same steps that dried it up in the first place.

You’ve heard the saying: insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

So let’s be honest.

The market is not the problem.

Your business structure is likely the problem. Your model is likely the problem.

And the good news is that’s something we can actually solve.

Here’s where I’d start: set a consistency floor.

A consistency floor is the minimum number of relationship conversations you’ll have every single day, no matter how busy you get. Not a goal. A floor. Something you never go below.

→ Pick a number you can hit even on your craziest closing week. For most agents, that’s somewhere between three and five conversations a day.

→ Protect it like an appointment. Put it on your calendar before anything else.

→ On slow weeks, go above it. On busy weeks, hit the floor and stop. But never skip it.

The floor is what breaks the cycle. The agents stuck in feast or famine aren’t lazy. They just stop when they get busy. The floor makes sure the busy season is quietly planting the next one.

The Rolodex Was A Database

Those IBM salespeople had something on their desks that most of you have probably only seen in old movies.

A Rolodex.

A spinning wheel of little cards. Every card was a person. A name, a number, a company, maybe a note scribbled in the corner about their wife’s name or their kid’s baseball team.

That was the non-digital database.

That’s why they were successful. That’s how they managed relationships across years and decades with no CRM, no automation, and no reminders popping up on their phone. They flipped through those cards, and they called people.

You have something a thousand times more powerful than a Rolodex. The question is whether you’re using it like one.

If I picked up any card in your database right now, here’s what I’d want to see on it:

→ How you met

→ The last real conversation you had, and when

→ One personal detail you learned

→ The life event you’re watching for

→ The date you’re reaching back out

If your database is just a list of names and phone numbers, it’s not a Rolodex. It’s a phone book. And nobody ever built a career calling the phone book.

Don’t Let Your Personality Talk You Out Of Your Pipeline

I want to say something here, and I’m saying it because I feel like God wants me to say this to somebody.

Don’t let your personality stop you from having real estate conversations.

I know a lot of agents who don’t love talking to people. Maybe you consider yourself an introvert. Maybe you don’t know what to say. Maybe you get nervous, or anxious, or there’s some shame sitting underneath it, like you’re bothering people by calling.

So you don’t call.

You look at the phone and think, “I don’t even know what I’d say,” and you go make another reel instead.

I understand. But technology cannot replace the relationship. You have to grow out of the shame, out of the fear, and out of the trepidation that comes with talking to people. That’s part of your development. And maybe, just maybe, this is how God is going to use a safe space to grow you.

Here’s what makes it easier. When you have a model for your database calls, you control the conversation. You’re not at the whim of whoever picks up the phone. You know why you’re calling, what you’re going to ask, and how you’re going to end it.

Here’s a simple structure to lean on:

→ Open with the reason. “Hey, I’m updating my database and wanted to make sure I have your current info.”

→ Turn it toward them. Ask about their family, their work, their home. Then listen.

→ Catch one detail. Write it down the second you hang up.

→ Close with permission. “I’ll keep in touch as exciting things happen in my business. Is this still the best number for you?”

That’s it. No pitch. No pressure. No script you have to memorize word for word.

When you know where the conversation is going, the nerves get quieter. And every call you make, you get a little braver than the last one. Krista, one of my students, closed a deal within 72 hours of finishing my database training. Not because she became a different person. Because she finally picked up the phone with a plan.

It’s Not Whether It Works. It’s Whether You’ll Work It.

The only thing standing between you and a database that can carry your business is how much time you’re willing to commit to the work, and whether you’ll do it long enough to see the results.

It’s not a matter of if it works.

It’s a matter of whether you’ll work it.

Reading this is great. Taking in information is great. But knowing what to do and not doing it is the hardest place to be in this business. You’ll feel informed and stay stuck at the same time.

The three-piece suit salesman didn’t have more information than you. He had more consistency. He knocked on the door in the heat, wrote down what he learned, and came back. Over and over.

That’s seed time.

Every conversation is a seed. Every follow-up is water. Every note you write on that card is a little bit of care for something that hasn’t grown yet. And the harvest doesn’t come because the market got easier. It comes because you planted, tended, and didn’t quit in the middle of the season.

Faith without works is dead. And faith in your business without work in your database is just wishful thinking.

So here’s my question for you, and I want you to answer it in the comments: when was the last time you intentionally followed up with 20 people in your database? Be honest. I’m reading every comment and answering your questions, so let’s talk about it.

Coach Cheese 💕