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My client Lauren sat across from me on our first call with this look in her eyes. Not frustration. Something deeper. Regret.
She’d spent three years—1,095 days—doing what she thought was “the smart thing.” Googling strategies at 11 PM when the kids were asleep. Downloading free scripts from coaches she’d never heard of. Buying a $27 lead gen PDF here, a $47 CRM tutorial there.
Watching YouTube videos with titles like “How I Closed 47 Deals My First Year” while eating dinner alone because her husband stopped asking about her real estate business months ago.
She wasn’t lazy. She was doing everything she thought she was supposed to do.
And she had absolutely nothing to show for it.
“Cheesette,” she told me, “I watched agents who started after me pass me. Agents who weren’t as smart as me. Agents who didn’t work as hard. They just… had something I didn’t.”
She paused. Then: “I’ll never get those three years back.”
Not the money. The years.
That conversation changed how I talk about coaching forever. Because Lauren wasn’t an outlier. She was the rule. And what she was paying—what you might be paying right now without even realizing it—has a name.
I call it the DIY Tax. And today I’m going to show you exactly how it’s draining your bank account, why your brain keeps telling you to pay it, and the specific systems that make the difference between agents who stack wins and agents who stay stuck.
The Math Your Pride Doesn’t Want You To See
Let me run some numbers that might make you uncomfortable.
Scenario A: The Coached Agent
You invest $6,000 in a structured coaching program. That’s $1,000/month for six months. Inside that program, you get:
– Weekly accountability calls where someone actually checks your numbers
– Proven scripts and talk tracks that have closed thousands of deals
– A CRM setup system so you stop losing leads to chaos
– A coach who identifies exactly what’s broken and helps you fix it
Because of that structure, you close one deal per month. Conservative estimate. At $8,000 average commission, that’s $48,000 in six months.
$48,000 earned minus $6,000 invested = $42,000 net profit.
Scenario B: The DIY Agent
You spend $0 on coaching. Smart, right? Instead, you:
– Watch 47 YouTube videos (free)
– Download 12 different scripts from 12 different coaches (free or cheap)
– Buy a $47 “Ultimate Lead Gen System” that’s really just a Google Doc
– Spend 3 hours every week “researching strategies” instead of talking to people
– Try to figure out your CRM alone (give up after two weeks)
– Have no one checking your numbers because no one knows your numbers
Result after six months: Zero deals. Maybe one if you got lucky at a family barbecue.
Here’s where agents mess up the math: they think they “saved” $6,000.
No. You lost $48,000 in opportunity. Plus six months of your life. Plus the confidence you burned through. Plus the momentum you never built.
The real invoice: $48,000 to stay exactly where you started.
That’s the DIY Tax. And it compounds. Because after six months of nothing, most agents don’t suddenly figure it out. They spend another six months doing the same thing, hoping for different results. That’s another $48,000 gone. Then another. Then another.
Lauren? Her three-year DIY journey cost her roughly $288,000 in missed opportunity. She could’ve bought a rental property with that money. Instead, she bought frustration and self-doubt.
The Three Lies Your Brain Tells You About “Figuring It Out”
Your brain is actively working against you here. Let me expose the three lies it keeps whispering.
Lie #1: “If I use a coach, I didn’t really earn it.”
This is pride dressed up as independence. The entrepreneurial ego loves this one. It says that asking for help somehow diminishes your success. That real winners figure it out alone.
But here’s what actual CEOs do: they pay for speed. They pay for mastery instead of mystery. Jeff Bezos has coaches. Oprah has coaches. Every elite athlete on the planet has a coach—often multiple coaches for different areas.
The most successful people in the world didn’t get there by Googling “how to be successful” at midnight. They invested in people who had already walked the path.
Lie #2: “I can’t afford coaching right now.”
Can you afford to lose $48,000? Can you afford three more years of spinning your wheels? Can you afford watching agents who started after you close deal after deal while you’re still stuck on “what’s the best CRM”?
Here’s what “I can’t afford it” usually means: “I haven’t prioritized it.”
And if you genuinely don’t have the money, ask God to show you how. I remember signing up for my first coaching program with zero idea how I’d pay for it. They took my info in January and said they wouldn’t charge until March. I didn’t have the money. I signed up anyway because I believed I’d figure it out.
By March, I had it. That leap of faith changed my entire trajectory.
Lie #3: “I just need to find the right strategy.”
The strategy isn’t your problem. YouTube has strategies. Google has strategies. Every coach on Instagram is giving away strategies for free.
Your problem is implementation. Your problem is accountability. Your problem is that when life gets busy—and it always gets busy—no one is checking whether you actually did the work.
Information without implementation is just entertainment. You’re not lacking strategies. You’re lacking structure.
The 4-Part System That Separates $0 Agents From $100K Agents
Same market. Same talent. Wildly different results. Why?
I’ve coached over 300 agents at this point, and the pattern is unmistakable. Agents who win aren’t smarter. They’re not luckier. They’re not more charismatic. They just run systems instead of winging it.
Here are the four systems that matter most:
System #1: The Database Operating System
Your database isn’t a list. It’s a business asset that either appreciates or depreciates based on how you treat it.
Here’s how to run it like a CEO:
Step 1: Import and clean your top 200 contacts.
Not your whole phone. Your top 200. People who know your name, would take your call, and might buy, sell, or refer in the next 24 months. Get them into your CRM. Remove duplicates. Fill in missing info.
Step 2: Tag every contact by temperature.
– Hot: Active life trigger happening now. New job, new baby, divorce, inheritance, lease ending. These people need to hear from you every 48 hours.
– Warm: No immediate trigger, but they’re in your sphere and they like you. Weekly touchpoint.
– Future: Long-term nurture. Maybe they just bought, maybe they’re not ready. Monthly contact to stay top of mind.
Step 3: Assign dated next steps to every single contact.
This is where 90% of agents fail. They reach out once, hear nothing, and move on forever. But the fortune is in the follow-up.
Every contact needs a dated next step. Not “follow up eventually.” Not “circle back when I remember.” An actual date in your CRM that triggers a task.
Step 4: Run your cadences like clockwork.
Hot leads: Call Tuesday, text Thursday, call again Saturday.
Warm leads: Value text Monday, check-in call Friday.
Future leads: Monthly market update or personal touchpoint.
When you run cadences, you stop guessing who to call. You open your CRM, and it tells you exactly who needs attention today.
System #2: The Conversation Tracking System
You can’t improve what you don’t measure. Every week, you should know:
– How many conversations did I have? (Not texts. Actual back-and-forth conversations.)
– How many were with hot leads vs. warm leads vs. cold outreach?
– How many appointments got booked from those conversations?
– How many appointments showed up?
– How many converted to signed agreements?
This is your CEO Dashboard. Five numbers. Track them every Friday. When you see the numbers dropping, you fix the inputs before it becomes a crisis.
Most agents have no idea what their conversion rate is. They just “feel” busy or “feel” slow. Feelings don’t close deals. Data does.
System #3: The Follow-Up Ladder
Here’s a specific follow-up sequence you can steal:
Day 1: Initial outreach (call + voicemail + text if no answer)
Day 2: Follow-up text with value (“Hey, saw this article about [their neighborhood] and thought of you”)
Day 4: Second call attempt
Day 7: Video message (personal, 30 seconds, just checking in)
Day 14: Email with market update relevant to them
Day 21: Final call attempt with honest close (“Hey, I’ve reached out a few times—want to make sure I’m not bugging you. Are you still thinking about [their goal]? If not, no worries at all.”)
That’s six touchpoints over three weeks. Most agents give up after one.
System #4: The Weekly CEO Review
Block 60-90 minutes every Friday. Non-negotiable. Here’s what you do:
First 20 minutes: Update your CEO Dashboard numbers from the week.
Next 20 minutes: Review your database. Who moved from warm to hot this week? Who needs a dated next step updated? Who fell through the cracks?
Next 20 minutes: Plan your next week. Based on your numbers, what needs more attention? If conversations are down, you need more outreach. If appointments are down but conversations are up, your talk track needs work.
Final 10 minutes: Celebrate one win. Even small ones. Momentum matters.
Agents who do this review every single week build momentum that compounds. Agents who skip it stay reactive instead of strategic.
The Gap Analysis: What A Coach Actually Does For You
I get DMs every day: “Hey Cheesette, quick question—how do I get more leads?”
Here’s my honest answer: even if I answered that question perfectly, it wouldn’t get you where you need to go.
A quick answer doesn’t give you:
– A structured program that builds skill on skill
– Accountability that keeps you moving when life gets loud
– Mindset renewal so you stop sabotaging yourself
– Someone in your blind spot showing you what you can’t see
Here’s what a coach actually does: gap analysis.
You’re at Point A (maybe zero deals, maybe stuck at one deal a month, maybe making money but burning out). You want to be at Point B (consistent closings, systems that run without you, a business that funds your life instead of consuming it).
A coach shows you exactly what’s in the gap—and then helps you close it.
That’s the job. Gap analysis and gap closure. Over and over until you’ve built something real.
And here’s what you need to accept: you might outgrow your coach. That’s healthy. My first coach taught me back-end business numbers. When I mastered that, I hired a sales coach. When I mastered sales, I went back to infrastructure because that’s what builds wealth.
Different gaps require different guides.
The Alignment Test: 5 Questions Before You Invest In Anyone
Don’t just buy a guru with good marketing. Find someone aligned with where you’re trying to go.
Before you invest in any coach or program, ask:
1. Do they have the infrastructure I want to build?
If you want a numbers-based business, find a coach who runs a numbers-based business. If you want freedom and flexibility, find a coach who has freedom and flexibility. You can’t learn empire-building from someone who’s still hustling 60 hours a week.
2. Do their values align with mine?
My values go God, family, then business. In that order. Every time. If there’s ever a conflict, God wins. Family wins. I built systems specifically so my business can grow while I keep my commitments to what matters most.
If your coach’s values don’t match yours, you’ll eventually hit friction.
3. Do they understand my specific situation?
Dual-career agent? Single mom? Building while broke? Your coach needs to understand your constraints, not just give generic advice for people with unlimited time and money.
4. Are they committed to my success or just collecting payments?
Does this coach actually check your numbers? Do they follow up when you go quiet? Do they adjust the plan when something isn’t working? Or do they just show up, deliver content, and disappear?
5. What results have their clients gotten?
Not testimonials about how “inspiring” the coach is. Actual results. Closed deals. Income increases. Systems that work. If a coach can’t show you client transformations, keep looking.
The Dual-Career Agent Advantage You’re Probably Wasting
If you have a W-2 job while building your real estate business, listen up.
Your job isn’t the enemy. It’s your investor.
That steady paycheck? It’s funding your real estate business until your real estate business can fund itself. You have something most brand-new full-time agents don’t: stability. You’re not choosing between rent and marketing. You’re not desperate for the next closing just to eat.
That’s an advantage. Use it.
Here’s how:
Earmark a percentage of your W-2 income for business investment. Maybe it’s 10%. Maybe it’s 20%. Whatever you can do consistently. That money goes toward coaching, training, systems, tools—things that accelerate your growth.
Protect your “money hours.” You have limited time outside your job. Those hours are precious. Don’t waste them watching free content that may or may not work. Invest in structured programs that tell you exactly what to do with your limited time.
Build systems that work while you’re clocked in. Automated follow-up sequences. Drip campaigns. Scheduled social content. Your real estate business should be running even when you’re at your desk job.
The goal isn’t to stay dual-career forever. The goal is to use your dual-career season strategically so you can transition from a position of strength, not desperation.
The Infrastructure That Creates Freedom (Not Just Income)
Most agents build income. Smart agents build infrastructure.
Here’s the difference: income requires you. Infrastructure works without you.
The Leverage Triangle
At some point, you hit a ceiling. There are only so many hours in a day. You physically cannot do more. That’s when you need the three points of leverage:
Point 1: Systems
Documented processes that anyone can follow. Your follow-up cadence written down. Your listing presentation templated. Your buyer consultation scripted. When it’s in your head, it’s chaos. When it’s on paper, it’s a system.
Point 2: Tools
Technology that multiplies your effort. A CRM that tracks everything. Automation that sends follow-ups while you sleep. Scheduling software that books appointments without back-and-forth. Transaction management that keeps deals moving.
Point 3: People
Humans who extend your capacity. Maybe it starts with a virtual assistant handling admin. Then a transaction coordinator managing paperwork. Eventually, buyer’s agents, listing agents, team members who run their own lanes while you lead.
Without all three points, you’re just trading hours for dollars forever. With all three, you build something that generates income whether you’re working or not.
Build With The Exit In Mind
This is where I lose some people. But stay with me.
From day one, you should be building a business that can exist without you.
Not because you want to leave tomorrow. But because a business that only works when you’re working isn’t really a business. It’s a job with extra steps and no benefits.
Ask yourself: if you got sick for three months, would your business survive? Would deals still close? Would leads still get followed up? Would clients still get served?
If the answer is no, you don’t have a business. You have a hustle. And hustles don’t sell. Hustles don’t create wealth. Hustles burn you out and leave you with nothing when you’re finally too tired to keep going.
Build infrastructure now so you have options later.
What got you here won’t get you there
If you knew how to get where you want to go, you’d already be there. The fact that you’re not means something needs to change. Not work harder. Not hustle more. Change.
Different thinking. Different models. Different support.
You don’t need more information. You need implementation. You need accountability. You need someone showing you the gap and helping you close it.
The DIY Tax is optional. You don’t have to keep paying it. You can make a different choice starting today.
For agents who want the full blueprint:
The CEO of Real Estate has a 5-module course called How To Start & Structure Your Real Estate Business. Inside you get:
– Module 1: Entity, LLC, and pay structure so you’re legally protected and financially organized
– Module 2: Knowing your numbers—the exact math that turns income goals into daily actions
– Module 3: Lead generation systems that create consistent conversations without burning you out
– Module 4: The leverage triangle—how to build systems, tools, and people infrastructure
– Module 5: Exit strategy—building something solid now that’s sellable later
Scripts. Checklists. Scorecards. Templates. Everything you need to stop operating like a salesperson and start running like a CEO.
For agents who want to transform their database in 3 days:
The Database to Databank Live Challenge is coming this month, Feb 10-12, 7-9 PM. Registration is open now~
Three days. Real time. You bring your CRM, we do it together.
You’ll leave with:
– Your top 200 contacts imported, cleaned, deduped, and tagged
– Hot/Warm/Future cadences installed and running
– 2-5 new buyer/seller/investor conversations booked on your calendar
– A weekly CEO dashboard so you always know what to fix next
Slots are limited because I actually support you live during the challenge.
