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An agent called me crying yesterday:

“Cheesette, I went to another networking event and stood in the corner for 45 minutes. I watched all these extroverted agents work the room, collecting business cards, laughing loudly, being the center of attention. I left without talking to anyone. I’m just not built for real estate.”

This agent had convinced herself that success required a personality transplant. She’d spent $3,800 on various “confidence” courses and “become more extroverted” programs. Her income last year? $14,200.

Two weeks later, a different agent – also self-described introvert – sent me a text: “Just closed three listings from my book club connections. Never had to ‘work a room’ once. Best quarter of my career.”

Same personality type. Completely different results.

The difference? One agent was trying to become someone else. The other agent learned to leverage exactly who she already was.

That’s a $116,000 income gap that has nothing to do with changing your personality and everything to do with understanding a truth most agents miss: success is portable because you carry it everywhere you go.

You are the product. You are the determining factor. Not your brokerage, not your market, not your commission split.

I’m going to give you six reasons why I know you can succeed at any brokerage, in any environment, whether you’re dual career or full-time. These are also the exact six reasons why 97% of agents don’t succeed anywhere. Master these six things, and you become unstoppable regardless of your circumstances.

Reason #1: Your Mindset is the Operating System Running Your Business

The way you see yourself is how you behave. How you behave is how you show up. How you show up is what you attract.

Let me be direct about something: the second you put any responsibility for your business on your broker, you’ve transitioned from being a CEO to being an employee. The second you blame your lack of success on market conditions, on your coach, on anybody outside of you, you’ve removed the CEO label and picked up the employee label.

Employees wait to be told what to do. Employees need motivation instead of structure. Employees look for permission instead of ownership.

CEOs create standards. When I came into real estate, I had a coach. But I understood that I still needed to execute. I didn’t wait for my coach to tell me every single move to make.

I named my business Cheesette Cowan LLC for a reason – so I’d never forget that I am the product. The business rises and falls based on who Cheesette Cowan is and what she becomes. Your business works the same way.

Here’s what most agents don’t realize: your mindset is so powerful that it receives things as truth even when they’re not true. This is why you have to learn to think differently than what you already think. The thinking you have now got you to where you are now. To get to the next level, you have to think different.

The Mindset Shift Protocol:

For the next seven days, I want you to track every time you think or say something that positions you as an employee instead of a CEO.

“I’m waiting for my broker to…”

“My team leader should…”

“If only my brokerage would…”

Every time you catch yourself, stop. Reframe it as a CEO: “What can I do right now to solve this myself?”

This isn’t just positive thinking. It’s reprogramming your default operating system from dependency to ownership. From waiting to creating. From victim to victor.

When you shift your mindset, you shift your results. Period.

Reason #2: Your Habits Are Voting Every Day for the Life You Claim to Want

The boring things you’re unwilling to do consistently are the reason you can’t be successful.

Follow-up isn’t exciting. Skill development isn’t sexy. Repetition feels uncomfortable because it’s boring. But people who succeed at a high level understand that success is built in the boring, repetitive actions most people quit.

This morning I didn’t feel like getting up for the gym. I was in a funky mood when I got there. But my habits still moved me forward because it doesn’t matter how I feel. My habits determine my life, not my feelings.

Your habits are voting every day. They’re casting ballots for either the life you say you want or the life you’re currently living.

Want to know what life you’re actually voting for? Look at your calendar from last week. Look at how you spent your time. That’s not what you say you want – that’s what your habits say you want.

The Habit Audit System:

Pull up your calendar and bank statements from the last 30 days. I want you to categorize every activity into one of three columns:

Column 1: CEO Activities (lead generation, follow-up, client appointments, skill development, strategic planning)

Column 2: Employee Activities (waiting for direction, busy work that doesn’t produce money, organizing things that are already organized)

Column 3: Distraction Activities (social media scrolling, unnecessary meetings, things you do to feel productive without actually producing)

Add up the hours in each column. That percentage breakdown is your real business – not what you tell yourself, but what your habits reveal.

If Column 1 isn’t at least 60% of your time, you don’t have a strategy problem. You have a habit problem. And no amount of new information will fix that. You need to change what you’re actually doing daily.

Start small. Pick one CEO activity. Do it at the same time every day for 30 days. Don’t add anything else until that one habit is non-negotiable.

Reason #3: Discipline Means You Do What’s Needed Regardless of How You Feel

Most agents work when they feel like it. They stop when it gets hard, when clients are difficult, when they post something and don’t get the response they wanted. They disappear when things get uncomfortable.

I don’t negotiate with my feelings. My feelings don’t run the show. In order to succeed at a high level, you’re going to have to learn how to feel your feelings and still do the work.

Let me tell you what this looks like in real life. When the market was great in 2020-2021, everybody loved real estate. Agents were posting on social media about how amazing the industry is. When the market shifted in 2022-2023, those same agents were complaining about how impossible it became.

I’m still doing the same thing I was doing when the market was good and when it was bad – I lead generate, I follow up, I follow through. That’s a discipline I developed, and it’s not just about real estate. It’s about life.

Your business grows to the extent that you do. Your business is a reflection of you. Most agents are trying to grow a business without growing themselves, and that’s why they stay stuck.

The 90-Second Decision Protocol:

When you wake up and don’t feel like doing the thing you know you need to do – prospecting, follow-up calls, database touches – you have exactly 90 seconds to make the decision.

Not 10 minutes. Not “I’ll do it after coffee.” Ninety seconds.

In those 90 seconds, you don’t ask “Do I feel like it?” You ask “Will future me thank current me for doing this?”

Then you move. Before your feelings have time to build a case against action.

The agents who succeed aren’t more motivated than struggling agents. They’ve just learned to make the decision faster than their feelings can build resistance.

For dual career agents especially – you can’t afford to wait for motivation. You have limited hours. Discipline is what allows you to maximize those hours instead of wasting them waiting to “feel ready.”

Reason #4: Most Agents Choose Comfort Over Growth (And Comfort Always Costs More Than It Delivers)

They want everything to feel good. Growth is confrontational. It can be ugly. Discipline feels restrictive – it doesn’t look like freedom in the beginning. It looks like freedom later.

You’ve got to be able to delay gratification. You can have comfort now or results later, but you can’t have both. Comfort and growth don’t exist in the same space.

Most agents choose scrolling over studying. They choose validation over development. They choose three hours of TV over three hours of learning communication skills or studying market data.

Let me be real with you. I stopped watching as much TV – not because I don’t like it, but because when I’m sitting there for three hours, I could be learning something that takes my life to the next level.

The other night I was going to watch a show and I thought, “I could listen to a podcast on communication and take notes instead.” That’s choosing growth over comfort. And I can’t choose comfort over growth and then wonder why nothing changes.

The Pleasure-vs-Progress Test:

For the next three days, before you do any activity, ask yourself: “Is this pleasure or progress?”

Pleasure activities: scrolling social media, watching TV, chatting with other agents about how hard the market is, reorganizing your desk for the third time this month.

Progress activities: prospecting calls, following up with leads, practicing scripts, studying successful listing presentations, learning new skills that directly impact your income.

You’re allowed pleasure. But if pleasure is taking up more time than progress, you’re voting for comfort over growth. And comfort always keeps you exactly where you are.

The goal isn’t to eliminate all pleasure – it’s to be honest about what you’re prioritizing. If you want different results, you need to spend more time in progress than pleasure.

Reason #5: You Never Challenge Your Beliefs (And Unchallenged Beliefs Run Your Life Like Invisible Prison Guards)

“This won’t work in my market.”

“That’s not my personality.”

“I’m an introvert.”

Everything you believe is not true. Just because you believe it doesn’t make it true.

Stop. That last one especially – stop telling yourself that story. You can be whatever you want when you’re not working. When it comes to working, I am a person that gets it done. My personality is not getting in the way of that.

Some people are more social than others – yes. But if you keep repeating to yourself every day “I’m an introvert, I don’t like people, I don’t like crowds,” it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Then you don’t build good relationships, and real estate is relationships and conversations.

Let me show you my challenge as a naturally extroverted person. I attract people. I talk to people. I’m bubbly and want to connect. If we’re in a room together, it’s hard for me to be quiet because I like to talk and find out what’s going on.

A skill I’ve had to develop is how to shut up. How to read the room. How to speak when necessary and not just because I want to.

The same way I have to work on being quiet, you as an introvert might need to develop the skill of speaking up more in business settings. We all have skills to develop based on our natural personality. But your personality isn’t an excuse – it’s your starting point for building necessary capabilities.

The Belief Interrogation Exercise:

Write down three beliefs you have about why you can’t succeed at the level you want. Be completely honest. Write what you actually tell yourself when nobody’s listening.

Now, for each belief, ask yourself:

“Is this actually true, or is this just a story I keep repeating?”

“What evidence do I have that proves this is a fact versus an opinion?”

“Have I seen anyone with similar circumstances succeed despite this supposed limitation?”

If you’re honest, you’ll find that most of your “limiting beliefs” are just protective stories you’ve told yourself so many times they feel like facts.

Your current belief systems have given you your current results. Unless you’re living the life you want right now, you need to challenge every belief you have about yourself and your business.

Reason #6: You Haven’t Made the Identity Shift (And You’re Trying to Fly While Still Being a Caterpillar)

Most agents try to act successful without becoming someone new. In order for me to be successful, I had to change. I couldn’t be the same person.

I had to change my habits. I had to change my standards. As a result, I changed. I’m not the same person I was two years ago. Growth means I’m not going to look the same or talk the same.

That means I may need new friend groups, new relationships, new people to hang out with. And that’s the part most agents aren’t willing to do.

Let me be transparent. In the last 18 months, I had to intentionally pull back from three long-term friendships. Not because they did anything wrong. Not because I didn’t love them. But because every time we got together, the conversation pulled me backward instead of forward.

They wanted to talk about what wasn’t working. I needed to focus on what was possible.

They wanted to vent about unfair markets. I needed to strategize about market opportunities.

They wanted comfort. I needed growth.

If your identity remains the same, so will your life. New results require a new identity.

That’s why a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. The caterpillar cannot stay a caterpillar and fly. In order to fly, it has to completely dissolve and transform into something different.

You don’t rise to the level of your goals or desires. You fall to the level of who you believe you are.

The Identity Shift Action Plan:

Look at your life right now – your calendar, your bank account, your relationships, your daily actions. Ask yourself honestly: “What identity is this data revealing?”

Is this the identity of someone making six figures? Is this the identity of a CEO? Is this the identity of someone who takes full ownership of their results?

If not, you need to start acting as if you already are that person. Not fake it till you make it – actually shift your identity by changing your daily behaviors.

Want to be a six-figure agent? Start making decisions like a six-figure agent makes decisions.

Want to be a CEO? Start taking responsibility like a CEO takes responsibility.

Want to be someone who succeeds anywhere? Start building the habits, mindset, and discipline that person has.

The transformation happens when you stop trying to add success behaviors to your current identity and start dissolving your old identity to rebuild a new one.

The Dual Career Agent Advantage (And Why Your 9-5 is Actually Your Secret Weapon)

Here’s what I tell dual career agents that surprises them: Your 9-5 is your biggest business advantage.

“But Cheesette, I have less time than full-time agents!”

Exactly. Which means you can’t afford to waste time on activities that don’t produce money. You’re forced to focus on what actually works.

Your paycheck means you’re not desperate. You can be selective about clients. You can invest in proper tools and coaching without panic. You don’t have to take every terrible lead that comes your way.

But most dual career agents waste this advantage by trying to compete with full-time agents on hours worked. Stop. You need to compete on strategic implementation instead.

The Dual Career Focus Framework:

You have two hours daily for real estate. Here’s what you do with them:

80% of your time (roughly 90 minutes) goes to only two activities:

→ Direct conversations with potential clients (lead generation)

→ Following up with active opportunities (conversion)

20% of your time (roughly 30 minutes) goes to everything else:

→ Transaction coordination (or hire this out)

→ Marketing (batch content once weekly)

→ Learning (one focused skill at a time)

If you’re spending your limited real estate hours designing social graphics or reorganizing your CRM, you’re playing business instead of building business.

Build the Foundation That Makes Everything Else Work

Here’s what I wish someone had told me on day one: you can’t build a mansion on a weak foundation.

Most agents are trying to add “advanced strategies” to a business that doesn’t have basic structure. They’re learning about luxury market positioning before they have a system for following up with leads. They’re investing in expensive marketing before they have a process for converting conversations to appointments.

When new agents ask me “What’s the one thing I should focus on?” my answer always surprises them: Learn how to start and structure your business the right way from the beginning.

Not sexy. Not exciting. But it’s the difference between building a business that lasts versus hustling yourself into burnout every single year.

My “How to Start & Structure Your Real Estate Business” 5-module course gives you:

→ The exact business planning framework that eliminates guessing how to establish your business

→ Systems for working with buyers and sellers efficiently without compromising quality

→ Lead generation strategies that feel authentic to your personality

→ Technology leverage so you’re not manually doing everything

This is the foundational structure that makes all six of these reasons for success actually work in your business instead of just being good ideas you read about.

Stop Waiting for Perfect Circumstances and Start Building the Perfect You

Let’s bring this full circle.

The question has never been where to hang your license or which brokerage has the best training or what the market conditions are doing. The question is: who are you becoming?

Success is portable because you carry it everywhere you go. I could take what’s in me to any brokerage, any market, any economy, and build a successful business. Not because I’m special – because I’ve developed these six areas that make success possible anywhere.

Tom Brady didn’t stop winning when he left the Patriots. He went to Tampa and got another ring. Same person, different environment, same results. Because success was in him, not in his circumstances.

Are you willing to do the uncomfortable work of changing these six areas? Are you willing to shift your mindset, build better habits, develop discipline, choose growth over comfort, challenge your beliefs, and transform your identity?

Most agents aren’t willing. That’s why 97% stay stuck.

But if you’ve read this far, you’re not most agents. You’re someone who’s ready to stop blaming circumstances and start changing yourself.

For everyone who needs foundational structure, start with How to Start & Structure Your RE Business Course,

But most importantly, start with the mirror. Look at yourself and decide that 90 days from now, you’re going to be a different person – not because circumstances changed, but because you did.

Your breakthrough isn’t hiding in some new strategy or better market conditions.

It’s hiding in the identity shift you’ve been avoiding.